


Aziraphale Becomes Hip With The Youth (The Hippening)

by H00D1N1



Series: Good Omens But Every Fic Is Bad [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale decides to follow trends at the wrong time, Dabbing, Discussion of memes, I didn't say I'd be writing the characters correctly just that they're THERE, M/M, Memes, The true ineffable plan is Aziraphale making vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H00D1N1/pseuds/H00D1N1
Summary: Aziraphale learns what it truly means to be hip and trendy.





	1. The Hippening - Origins

**Author's Note:**

> sorry

Not everyone starts out so cool. It takes a certain kind of person to keep up and stay trendy. Even Crowley, with his weird ass walk, still manages to look stylish as shit at any given moment. But that takes time to update yourself and getting in the know. Personally, Aziraphale never felt the motivation to learn about what was "cool" or anything. He liked his look, and didn't need to use slang to be understood. Being yourself is the hippest, yo. But you have to upgrade sometime, like when Apple slows down your phone through updates to godforsaken levels and you have to shell out what little you aren't giving to pay off your student debt to get a new phone so you can distract yourself from the inevitability of your own mortality, or something.

Anyway, after the Apoco-That-Almost-Was-But-Then-It-Wasn't-So-We're-OK-Now, the whole gang grew pretty close. You know, as people do when they stop an entire apocalypse together. Aziraphale and Crowley had become almost like unofficial god-fathers to Adam, and his parents didn't question it. This relationship is the first domino in the dreaded "Hippening". 

Adam and the Them were hanging around Aziraphale's bookshop when they got into a discussion about the Apoco-That-Could've-Been-But-Never-Was-So-That-Sucks-But-Not-For-Humanity. One of them mentioned something about how Adam basically stopped the apocalypse by pulling a, "You're not my dad!" They all laughed, but Aziraphale didn't get the joke. I mean, yes, that's how the apocalypse was stopped, but why was it funny? Was it the tone of voice used? So he asked. 

The question led to an explanation about the "vine." Then, what a vine was. Which led to an explanation about memes, which Aziraphale would later pronounce as "me-me-s". Explaining was difficult, so they pulled up a compilation of videos from Vine, or a "vine comp" for short. These short videos delighted Aziraphale. Many were absolutely amusing. He had more of a fondness for the cleaner vines, so the kids pulled up a video titled "Clean Christian Vines You Can Watch With Your Grandma At Thanksgiving Dinner". That one was Aziraphale's favorite.

"Where can I purchase a vine?" He asked, and the kids explained that vine was sort of dead. The website was still up, but people weren't posting anymore. Now, memes were being posted on an app called "TikTok", which was like a weird mixture of vine and something called "musically". The latter of which people were sure that hell must've come up with. Which led to showing of more memes, which led to them asking Aziraphale to join them in making a couple. Aziraphale was never one to refuse something that sounded so fun. He was taught to do something called a "woah", and the kids held back laughter every time it got progressively worse. 

By the time the kids left, Aziraphale considered himself quite the meme master. He couldn't wait to show Crowley the knowledge he'd gained. The Hippening had begun. 


	2. ROAD WORK AHEAD? UH, YEAH-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale shows Crowley a good chunk of memes he's learned. Crowley thinks he's having a stroke.

Aziraphale and Crowley regularly met up for lunch. Since heaven and hell had been radio silent, there wasn't much to do other than hang out, really. Crowley had sensed something was off when he pulled up to the bookshop and Aziraphale was wearing a set of white sunglasses. Odd. Sunglasses were Crowley's thing. He opened the door, "Get in, angel." 

Crowley was not expecting the string of words that came out of Aziraphale's mouth. Were they even words? Aziraphale had smiled as he got into the car, and said, "Whaddup fam? Do you like my fresh look? My levels of clout are over 9000!" Crowley just. Stared at him. What the fuck. What the fUCK WAS THAT? "What did you just say to me, Aziraphale?" 

"I was asking if you like my new look. It's very hip and cool, you know." Crowley was bordering on expressionless. Did he imagine Aziraphale saying what he'd said? He had to. There was no way that Aziraphale would speak like that ever in his life. "Yes, they look... great." He replied, and just started driving to their destination. Their conversation in the car was pretty normal, for the most part, so clearly he must've imagined the worst greeting in the world. Those clout goggles made Crowley wildly uncomfortable. 

The second incident happened when Aziraphale caught sight of a big, orange sign. He gasped, and beamed as he interrupted Crowley to practically shout, "ROAD WORK AHEAD? YES, I SURE HOPE IT DOES!" Caught by surprise, Crowley accidentally hit the break, and the car swerved, miraculously not managing to hit anyone as Crowley got control back and sped along once again. Aziraphale held onto the dash board, eyes wide, and then the third incident came. "Goodness, Crowley! The car went sickko mode!" NO. NO. NO. 

Crowley must've been having a stroke. This wasn't it chief. This ain't it. No. No. He pulled up to the lunch spot without a word, and once the car was parked he took off his sunglasses and put his head in his hands. "Aziraphale," He began, "What's with you today? What are you saying to me?" 

"What do you mean? Am I not using slang correctly?" Aziraphale looked concerned, "Adam and his friends introduced me to what the youth are saying these days, so I decided that I should start following the trends. I bought these clout goggles, and even these crocs!" Crocs. CROCS?! How did Crowley not notice the crocs. He didn't want to look. He had to look. In the passenger side of the car, Aziraphale was sporting obnoxiously yellow crocs, with blue accents and- oh my fucking god those were minion crocs. Aziraphale was wearing minions on his feet. Crowley was one second away from a stroke, he felt it. "Aziraphale, you don't have to be hip. You know you can just speak normally with me, right?" 

"It's like learning a new language, you'll never remember unless you use it in casual conversation. Now come on, we have a reservation." Aziraphale happily got out of the car, and Crowley put on his sunglasses and followed. He'd never felt such a strong mixture of disappointment and love until he saw Aziraphale pick up some litter and throw it in a garbage can accompanied by, "This is empty! Yeet!"

This was going to be along decade, huh. 


	3. Angels Don't Do Fortnite Dances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angels don't dance, but Aziraphale does. Angels, especially, do not do Fortnite dances. Aziraphale...

Crowley was having a crisis. Though, if you think about it, when is he not having a crisis. But this, oh, this was bad. It wasn't an incoming Apoco-That-Was-Specifically-Supposed-To-Happen-But-Luckily-Incompetence-Saves-The-Day-So-We-Good that they could just stop. No, this terrible evil was something else entirely. It was the hipper, cooler Aziraphale.

See, Adam and the Them continued to show Aziraphale more ways to be hip and cool, and uh, dancing does have its trends. He'd mentioned how the only dance he knew was the gavotte. The kids looked at each other, and knew what to do. It took a couple of afternoons, but soon Aziraphale was flossing with the best of them. This handful of dances, in Aziraphale's opinion, were not as fun as the gavotte. But it was always good to learn what was in style. 

So you can imagine why, when Crowley had put on a nice Queen record, he was having this crisis. The millisecond Aziraphale got up to default dance, Crowley was just tired. He'd spent more time with his head in his hands in second-hand embarrassment than he did wearing sunglasses during all 6000 years they've known each other. Of course, he'd never love Aziraphale any less, and that was the trouble. This bullshit, in fact, made him love this complete dork more. So it excuse the orange justice going on in the middle of the shop, poorly timed to any song off "A Day At The Races". 

"Crowley," Aziraphale was trying to get his attention. Crowley looked up, "What is it, angel?" 

"Watch this, look, watch." He looked like a child who was told that school was forever cancelled and that they'd be able to eat ice cream for breakfast. He put his hands up, and did some sort of weird circle motion with them. "Woah! Did you see? I did the woah!" What Aziraphale just did, was in fact, not the woah. Crowley closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn't what he had in mind when the Apoco-I'm-Just-Trying-To-Make-The-Name-Progressively-Longer-At-This-Point-Not was over. Maybe this was the real Apocalypse. Maybe this was actually hell, and this is the punishment. 

No, he reasoned, it wasn't. He opened his eyes. Aziraphale was trying to do the whip and nae nae. Yeah. Yep. This is hell. 

It was like watching a horrible wreck. It's terrible, and it shouldn't be happening, it's so disturbing. But you just can't look away. "Don't just sit around, Crowley. Let's dance!" Aziraphale encouraged him to join in. Well. If you can't beat the hippening, join the hippening. 

Mission failed, we'll get em next time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no i dont accept constructive criticism


End file.
